ADD and Me
In the past couple days I’ve made some important realizations about myself and my ability to be productive that I really wish I’d caught on to earlier in life.
I’ve known since Junior High school or thereabouts that I had ADD tendencies. I’ve always felt ADD and ADHD were just aspects of an individual’s personality and that as such, “treatment” with medication was a questionable practice. Even having experienced the positive effect of ADD medication on myself once in past (and having related this story as “my best day in university” to others) I remained unconvinced.
Over the past several months I had been mulling over the idea of getting formally diagnosed in order to seek medical treatment as the symptoms for me had been becoming more severe. I still hadn’t been diligent in researching all the symptoms for adults.
Talking out my guilt and frustration over my lack of motivation to do household activities (which I’d previously never associated with ADD) I finally started to figure out how my attention and motivation were related. A bit more googling and I turned up this page among others describing all of my symptoms using similar language to the language I’ve used in past to describe my own shortcomings to my friends, family, teachers, and employers.
I have tried all manner of approaches to motivation and task management over my life to no avail. I’ve used and paid for countless to-do list sites and products, I’ve read on and struggled to implement multiple organizational methodologies. I had come to the inevitable conclusion that “disorganized” and “motivated only when interested” were inescapable components of my personality. While hashing out these issues with me my girlfriend turned up this video that is (ignoring the hyperactivity points but still including the impulsivity points) a jaw-droppingly (and at times painfully) accurate description of me.
Yesterday, having finally put all the pieces together alongside a sense of immediate urgency I previously hadn’t been able to tap in to, I obtained a prescription for dexedrine and have seen immediate benefit at work and home today. I’ve surprised myself so much today with the tasks I’ve been able to accomplish and the effortless efficiency in which I’ve been able to accomplish them.
I feel incredible relief at the discovery that chemistry can help with something I’ve dealt with my whole life and despair at the failings that could have been prevented with earlier awareness and treatment. If you think you might suffer from ADD or ADHD please watch this video and consider seeking treatment.